Abhi's Chai Stall...

a dark rollercoaster

2010-09-18T13:56:00.000-07:00

I had only seen people suffering of insomnia in movies, often these characters are either drug addicts, murderers or both. These movies tried to convey the mental torture that insomnia inflicts, but it was never clear enough till I lived through. After 6days of loosing sleep you simply loose track of time. I was already bed ridden because of the viral & the medicines weren't helping either. After a point you start to dream when you are awake, even once u open your eyes & try to shake it away. It plays in your head like a broken records, over and over again. I try to shake it away, try to think of something different, but the only thing I can think of, is what I am dreaming right now. Its as if you are watching the "machinist" & "trainspotting" back-to-back in repeat mode. But does it count as a "dream" if I am awake? I sit on my bed, hoping that would help. I do not have the energy to go up to the washroom & wash my face.

I give up & try to make sense of what I am seeing. I had hoped that if I had left the city & come home things would change. The first 2 nights when I had this fit was, when I was in the city. I saw it being played in my head with both my eyes open & closed. Finally I had to give up on my attempts to sleep & get out of bed. But, the recursive, meaningless dreams followed me home as well. Yes, dreams are always not meant to be meaningful, but they usually contain other people, some dialogue, drama, action, something like a movie which plays in your head. But my recursive dreams had just some odd shaped empty boxes. The sequence kept repeating in my head in spirals, I felt I was falling down Alice's rabbit hole but even that had an end.I tried making sense of it during the day only to give up trying & comforting myself that at least the boxes were not shaped liked coffins. Now that would have been freaky !!

A high dosage of antibiotics along with the highly sedative cough medicines mixed a tired body & mind can play tricks on you. You feel as if you got the front seats in a roller coaster ride which is heading straight into an iron gate reinforced with steel, lead & anything sharp you can find. The mind had already been hit bad thanks to the work. They say you shouldn't burn bridges, but at times you just know you have to blast that bloody bridge with enough dynamite to light up the sky on a full moon night. The thought did bring a smile to my face. And that is when the body gave in to the viral & here I am trying to twitch & turn in bed, to find the position which would give me the least amount of pain, while I try to sleep. I got some sleep yesterday after 6long days, I hope I get some tonight as well.

My health is showing minor improvement, so hope to be up & running in a few days time. Lot more medicines to have & supplementary foods to take up. As for the mental health, it will mend, it always does. Now that the sword is already pushed in, I'd rather pull it out from the other end. I really doubt if this would make sense if I try reading all this again. But these are memories & words, which I might forget once sanity kicks in.
Like TP says "its official, u've gone demented"

The Atheist - Rejected by Heaven & Hell

2010-03-08T00:53:00.000-08:00

Last week was quite painful for me. My best friend died a slow death which was painful to bear. I knew my friend for the past 3years, used to be always by my side wherever I went, from the bakery next door till the long trips I have been. My friend managed to make me smile & helped me get some sleep during all those long journeys. My friend, my T430 Transcend mp3 player. Ok, jokes aside, come to think of it my mp3 player was really like a friend to me. I have read that these days with the invent of interactive computer systems, we have started considering electronic gadgets to living entities. So yes, I did feel a sense of pain when my mp3 player's sound output started faltering. Maybe I didn't shed a tear, but I still didn't feel like throwing it away even after I got a replacement.

While talking about replacing electronic gadgets, it is common for many of us to replace our laptops, mobile phones quite frequently these days. Though we love & adore our gadgets during their term of use & safeguard them, we do not often give much time to think while replacing them with another. It makes me think, will we also be replaced or forgotten by the ones around us. Even more scarier, do we have the same fate as a broken mp3 player or mobile phone. Lets accept it, the universal law applies for everyone & everything. If born one day, you definitely have to die one day as well. But do we also just "switch off" or slowly rumble on & die like one of our machines.

Now, the theists have their different versions of "paths" after death. Despite the religious differences all these paths can be summed up as either "Heaven" or "Hell". Like they say in most SMS jokes, the doors to either is guarded by somebody by the name of St Peter who has a log of your deeds while on planet earth. Now, I don't want to go into the details & point out the various absurdness they have, as I always do. To tell about "Heaven" & "Hell" there are quite a lot. For some its a place where angels float around among the clouds, usually your grandparents are there (I never understood why !!) , they have good food & everybody is dressed in white. For some others Heaven has virgins (not sure male or female) inhabitants for company. Hell is usually where the infidels, the cruel, the lawyers & "evil-doers" (borrowing the word from Jr Bush) are punished to go. The place is said to be extremely hot, with boiling cauldrons & you have Mr Devil staying there as well, who will whip you for no apparent reason.

But what happens to the atheist? I know for sure that the theist's heaven nor hell would let us in. So without heaven or hell, our lives (& path) would end like turning off a switch. "Puff" & gone? Gone in 1 second? Is that it? Though this does scare me, I am able to see the good side to it as well. We atheists needn't worry about our deeds during our mortal life. We do not have a hell & you can't possibly push us into a molten cauldron once we die. I can only pity for the poor theists. We can lie, cheat, break rules & we just have to go "puff" when our time is up. Its nice, though it makes me feel no different from a machine. Both machines & human go through their repair cycle whenever the time is near & then it reaches a point repair cant help much. That's when we are given up on.

While writing this, it is being more clear to me on the million possibilities just opened up ahead of me. When you are free from the consequences of your actions, the concept of freedom & thoughts become clearer to you. You can do whatever you want, not fearing about the eyes in the sky. You do not have to do the "right thing" or as per "god's will" but what you feel is right. After all you are Heaven's & Hell's reject.

Note: The author does not advocate "lying, cheating or breaking rules". Consequences of your actions while still alive is very much a reality.

to all those animal welfare activists

2010-02-18T01:41:00.000-08:00

Decided to write this piece after a discussion with a colleague over lunch. My colleague is a vegan & cannot stand the thought of a non-vegetarian dish. Today, he was giving me the reasoning behind his decision to not consume meat. According to him ( & many others, I am sure) it is not "right" to kill an animal & consume its flesh. Just because they cannot respond back, doesn't mean we have right to kill & eat them. Well, he was almost echoing the thoughts of the animal right activists who are presently protesting against killing of animals for consumption. Earlier these protests were mainly for cruelty towards animals & their killing for recreation/product manufacture. But as per the newspaper, new rounds of protests are against consumption as well.

Surprisingly most of these protests are against the killing of cows. There has been no mention about killing of chicken, duck, pig or even fishing. Evidently our nation's dear animal activists do not care about the pigs, goats & chicken, though they are being butchered & consumed in much larger numbers. In spite of cows being butchered in very less numbers for food in the country, focus is primarily on them. Makes me think, is there a hidden religious agenda behind this "animal welfare". I always knew that people are distinguished always on basis of their religion, caste, creed color. But did they start a caste system in animals as well? Interesting.

And an even interesting was an article which I read in the newspaper yesterday morning. I had to do some googling to get a web article of the same. I wanted to get the attention of our dear animal welfare activists on this particular piece of news. It seems thousands of rams & bulls were sacrificed in a temple in Kushtagi, a village 6hours away from Bangalore - the silicon valley of India. Villagers say that children were made to stay indoors, so that they dont see the gory scene as rivers of blood flowed through the temple grounds. While I read through the article, I wonder "where were the animal activists doing on that Sunday morning?". This was not a surprise party which the villagers decided to throw, but a practice which have been followed for years. But then, like I mentioned before, our activists are only worried about the cows & not surprisingly no cow was harmed in the sacrifice !

It doesn't require a lot of intellect to understand the "animal welfare" in the country is driven more by religious sentiments rather than actual love for the animal. Killing for the sake of consumption/nutrition is being banned while the law looks the other way when mass sacrifices are being made. With the large number of activists fueled by religious sentiments to their godly animals, the future of tasty food looks bleak for the minority non-vegetarians. For the time being I will have to survive on chicken in a land where, Lion is not the King, the Cow is !

an Athiest at the God's Gate

2009-12-12T10:32:00.000-08:00

"I pity the fool" - Mr T's famous quote from Rocky III, came to my mind several times in the past few weeks. I had made a trip to the northern half of the country in the previous weeks & my journey included places of worship of different faiths. Few of them, were considered the most important pilgrimage points for different faiths. The journey was quite different for me, not only because of the new places I was seeing, but also because I had kept away from all religious places for the past 3 & half years. So it was a good experience, talking to different kinds of people, watching people from different places & different belief system. I got to meet the believers who had an extremist attachment to their belief system & also the ones who kept their beliefs as a private thing. So when I met these people, read and watched millions of others on TV & other medium, there has been only one feeling which comes into me. Its not anger, its not rage, its not happiness nor joy, but its pity. Pity for your ignorance. Pity that you are unable to see the bigger picture. Pity that you are being manipulated so easily with something which does not even exist.

Why pity? Well, I shall explain with the help of a story I recently heard through a friend. My friend belongs to a far off village where they have very limited access to electricity, newspapers, media & most things which we take for granted. The place where they live a simple life. But every time when election approaches, the regional political parties come up banners, posters to spread the word of the party. In most of these posters it was a common practice to put the pictures of the important leaders, which included few of them who had died in the late 80's. But for the people of the village, these posters were the only way to see all their leaders & to this day they believe that all of them are still alive. As much as 50% of the village's population, majority of whom are uneducated believe that their Prime Minister (who was killed in early 80's) is still alive & competing for elections. Feel like laughing at their ignorance? Village idiots, right? Hold on, what would you do if I tell you that there is a huge number of people who believe & trust a person whom they haven't even seen. In fact they haven't even seen his pictures, only sketches of the person. Yet they believe this person has the solution to all their problems & would go to any lengths to please him. None of these people have never spoken or heard this person, but have only "felt" his person. Yeah, you know where I am going with this. Blind faith & it only deserves pity.

But to be honest, I wish there was a God. No, I haven't turned into a believer, but for the sake of the millions of people who live around me. I wish there was a God so that all the prayers will not go for waste. I wish there was a God, so that he could acknowledge the billions people spend on making places of worship rather than trying to wipe off poverty or hunger. I wish there was a God who could forgive all those who killed & burned down property in the name of the almighty. I wish there was a God who could show heaven to all those martyrs who blow themselves up to reach Elysium. I wish there was a God who took note of the sacrifices & offerings made to him which amount to trillions. But more than everything I wish there was a God, for all the ones I pity, because fictitious though you may be, you are a source & inspiration to them. For the ones who do not believe in themselves, you are the only one they could trust. When everything around goes down in flames, you are the one they believe has a plan & its all well taken care of.

So while returning from the God's gate, this was the silent wish I had. I knew I cannot change the beliefs of the people around me, nor enlighten them with the truth. I controlled the urge to tell them that all those phenomena which you had named as God is now detailed in the science textbooks of school kids as facts. But I understood that knowing nothing & being ignorant can be more comforting at times. After all everybody has the right to follow his own faith.

Living a dream

2009-12-10T03:37:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I blogged & thought of putting down about what I had been up to. I got some serious feedback about my last write from a friend & this time I hope to bore you (if anybody is reading). Its almost the end of the year & looking back it feels I have achieved all the things I had set out to achieve. Almost. In December of last year, I penned down 4 resolutions which I planned on abiding in the coming year. Now a year back I had followed 3 of the 4 resolutions religiously. The one I didn't stick to, was no longer relevant, so lets strike that out.

So as per my resolution to travel, I set out to the Great North Indian trip. Now I dont want to write down all the small intricate details about the trip and bore anyone (the earlier feedback), so I will just stick to the highlights. The trip was mainly to attend a friend's brother's marriage, but that was after all just an excuse to visit the northern half of the majestic country. The trip lasted 11days & covered 6 States & 1 Union Territory. It started from the Delhi Airport --> Uttar Pradesh <--> Uttarakhand <--> Chandigarh <--> Punjab <--> Himachal Pradesh <--> Haryana--> Delhi. It was one of the most amazing journeys I have ever went. But there were few which stood out & it would be injustice not to mention them.

The North Indian marriage should be the one which generated the maximum amount of curiosity. Attended a marriage which started in night & went on till the early hours in morning. The lights, the color, the energy was electrifying. Got an opportunity to dance as part of the "Baarath" or the groom's procession till the wedding hall. The groom arrived at the wedding hall in the traditional horse driven chariot. The menu for dinner was limitless, starting from the Dosa of the south to well made Parrattas of the North. The ceremonies which I was not very fond off did go on for long & after a really tiring day, I dozed off in the wedding hall :)

The second place worth mentioning was Amritsar. The Golden Temple is a symbol of shear beauty. Though we had to go through an overnight train journey in chilling weather, the view of the Golden Temple, made the journey worth it. Even at 10 in the morning, the area was covered with mist but the air had a spiritual feel to it. Later in the evening had an opportunity to catch the parade at the Waga border. For all those people who are not huge patriots, the patriotism at the Waga is infectious. I never knew that I could scream out slogans like "Vande Matharam" & "Jai Hind" so loudly. The spirit & energy of the soldiers on both sides was amazing to watch.

I would call myself a non-believer, but which I was there I didn't mind checking out Haridwar & Hrishikesh, 2 of the important places of Hindu pilgrimage. Set at the banks of the so-called "holy" river Ganges, the place could easily get your liking. Though I was traveling only at the beginning of the winter, the water was still freezing cold. I could only envy the adventurous once who took a dip in the river which I had to limit myself to just washing my feet. The "Aarthi" performed in the evening at the banks of the river, was one spectacle which would remain in my mind for years to come. The students of the traditional school all dressed in yellow & red recited the prayers in such unison to an audience of close to 100. Even I was motivated to shut my camera & sit down to listen to them.

Last but certainly not the least was the visit to Delhi, the capital city of India. Everything about the place was a treat to my eyes. From the modern Metro transport, the Parliament house, the India Gate & the Qutab Minar. I can almost still taste the "Chilly Stuffed Paratta" & "Rabri Paratta" which we had in the "Paratta Wale Galli" in Chandi Chowk. Since we were running short of time, we had hurry through Delhi to see all the places, but every minute spend was worth it. Everything about Delhi is simply beautiful & I mean everything.

Those were only the highlights of the 11 day North Indian trip, but there was endless number of memories from the journey. The glimpses of the trip still comes to my mind, the cycle rickshaw rides, the delicious "alloo tikki", the early 5pm sunsets, the view of the Himalayas, the softest Paneer, beautiful faces in Delhi, the gardens of Panjore, the Gun Hill at Mussorie. So finally went the year closes I feel I have so many new places & met lot many people in this year than all my years combined.

Chasing a rainbow

2009-10-27T08:09:00.000-07:00

I had never planned on writing a travelogue, but after the last trip I think owe the place one. At the beginning of the year, I had made 5 resolution, one of them was Traveling. After almost 10months into the year, I can safely say that I can definitely strike off one of the resolutions as complete. Managed to visit most of the cities in the southern part of the country. Planning to cover the northern half in the remaining 2months. So why write a travelogue now? Well, like I said before firstly I owe it to the place, secondly I wanted to help out anybody who is planning a trip there. So, here we go..

The idea for the trip came, when I saw the pictures of a trip my colleague went to. The instant I saw it, I knew I have to check it out. The pictures looked amazing & it turned out that the place wasn't that far out : 8hours. So planning for the "Shimoga - Sagara - Jog Falls Trip" began. Now, Jog Falls is a part of Sagara but I kind off put it separately because the place deserves its due importance. With the power of Google & Wikipedia we made a list of places to cover. It wasn't much difficult to get a list thanks to hundreds of websites which pulled up in Google's search list. All boasted about the different scenic beauties in & around Shimoga, the sanctuaries, the dam & the rivers. Made a 2page long list for the 2days, took some cash, tickets & set off.

We were supposed to go to Sagara for a day, visit four places including Jog Falls, stay in Sagara for the night. Next day travel down to Shimoga, visit 2 wildlife sanctuaries & a sunset view atop Agumbe. Five of us reached Sagara 7 in the morning. The place seemed smaller than expected, little bit bigger than a village but smaller than a town. We hadn't booked accommodation so had to search for a place. After some bit of walking around we realized that the place has only 2 lodges & decided to find the nearest one. I can safely say that my room at home was much neater & less messy than the room we got in our lodge in Sagara. I wouldn't have been surprised if I found a dead animal in the room, really !! But, we didn't want to make any judgments yet about the place, so freshened up & set out to cover the places.

First up, we decided to go to "Sikhandooru". The place is an island which could be reached only by a ferry. We rented a van for the day and fixed the price at 1000. A l0km long path which was more potholes than road took us to the ferry. The ferry was one of the most beautiful that I had ever been to. Small islands dotted the entire lake/river ( I really don't know). Though the ride took an hour, including the long wait for the ferry, I would say that it was completely worth it. Though the journey was fun, our destination was a disappointment. It seems "Sikhandooru" is famous for a temple which is of no architectural significance except for its diety. So dissapointed we turned to our next 2 destinations.

Our next destinations were again holy places (Yeah I know, an Atheist in a holy place) one being Ikkeri & other Varadhahalli. The visit to Ikkeri was worth it. The place had excellent architecture & carvings of stone. The place was really scenic & peaceful. It has lush green grass around the temple where you could relax & statues of elephants. Varadhahalli on the other hand was the biggest disappointment of the day. Neither was the journey fun, nor was the place scenic. I wondered why this place made it into a tourist location. My driver told me that he believed it was because they give free lunch :)

Last place of the day, was the Jog Falls. A long drive but the bets part of the entire trip. The Jog Falls is majestic & it stands tall. Our timing was not all that great since there wasn't much water, yet the place was mind lowing. We trekked the 1400 steps down the side to see the beauty up close. The water as white as milk falls from a height of 830ft. Tired & exhausted from the day we head back to our suffocating hotel room for a good night sleep.

Ok, its not that fun to write a travelogue as I had thought it would be. So let me fast forward through our second & less eventful day of the trip. Shimoga is a much bigger Sagara & can be called as a bigger town. The cab chargers are high & chances of getting fooled are close to 80% & we fell into that 80%. So in Shimoga we visited the "Thavarekoppe" sanctuary which had 2 lions & 3 tigers, the Gajanur Dam which didn't have water (& didn't allow photography) & a bird sanctuary which had 6 crows. Dissapointed & cheated (by our new cab driver). We turned towards our final destination for the trip, Agumbe famous for its sunsets. The place is a 100km long drive from Shimoga & can be extremely tiring because of the bad roads. We reached the place well ahead of time to see an amazing sunset. Though it wasn't the typical sunset we were hoping for, it was a different & fun filled experienced. We turned back to Shimoga from where we would return home in the late night bus. Overall, another rocking trip !!!

For my ol' pal..

2009-10-16T23:45:00.000-07:00

From now,

coming home wouldn't be the same, without you waiting by the door;

my shoes wouldn't be the same, without you chewing on its sole;

breakfast at home wouldn't be the same, without you sleeping near our feet;

playing ball wouldn't be as much fun, without you running behind it;

the crumbled blanket wouldn't be the same, without you sprawled over it;

getting mail wouldn't be the same, without you chasing away the mailman;

pillow fights wouldn't be the same, without you fighting over it;

thunder showers wouldn't be the same, without

you hiding under the couch;

Life wouldn't be the same, without you in it..

You were the best, you were my pal.

You always listened, you never complained, you never judged.

You would stick by my side for all the mischiefs.

You would even do tricks as long as you got your chewy snack.

Will miss you my friend, will miss you Jimmy

A sad life; but happy at death

2009-09-15T01:14:00.000-07:00

Whenever a person dies, the people around him remember the person for his goodness & share the sweet memories they have. It is the moment when people forget the negative qualities of the person & remember him for all the goodness he had. This implies for anybody no matter if he is a dictator, movie star, a politician or even a dacoit. People forget their differences to mourn at the death of the person. Many at times we do see a lot of contrast between the emotions of people towards a person before & after death. But there can be no match to the contrast in emotions of people to what they had towards MJ, before & after his death.

Michael Jackson, popularly known as MJ died on June 25 2009. The shock expressed by the world can only be preceded by what was observed at the death of Princess Diana. Millions around the world joined in prayer & mourned the death of Michael Jackson, supposedly the “King Of Pop”. Even in India thousands of fans paid their respect to the star. The visual & printed media ran 24hours broadcast about the star’s life & the incidents which lead to his death. For weeks television hosts discussed about the possible cause of death & the various medication he was undergoing. The Internet blogging community praised the life of MJ & declared that there couldn’t be a better pop star. But where were these millions of fans & supporters when he was alive?

If he was indeed the “King” of pop why did he lead a lonely secluded life? Why didn’t his family who rushed to get a spot on media after his death, support him while he was alive? Where were all those people who now want the doctors to be prosecuted who administered him wrong drugs? Why didn’t they try to stop these doctors while his life could have been saved? Why do we have to only realize the value of a person only once its too late?

It is no secret that the “king” of pop in spite of his riches & fame, lived a lonely life. He was the character who was mocked by television channels around the world. He was ridiculed for his lifestyle, the way he looked & his personal likes & dislikes. He lived his life in the middle of controversies when the world around him truly despised him. While he was alive, people around the world called him a pedophile & a “weirdo”. The very same internet groups which mourns his death earlier depicted him as a beast. We would never know whether these allegations were true or not, they would remain a mystery like MJ himself.

But if MJ has shown us something, it is that people don’t value you in life but would rather mourn for you in death.

write for a smile....

2009-06-09T04:34:00.000-07:00

I have written a lot of posts in this blog of mine, 60 in fact (I just checked). Some of them were related to my personal life, some related to current affairs & some plain stupidity. But this time, I wanted to write something for a cause. For the right cause.

The main reason for writing this post, is a piece of news I read the other day. The news article was about a DIG in West Bengal who employed an 8Year old girl as a domestic help & later tortured her. According to the write up, this was not the first incident of physical torture inflicted on the kid, but there were many prior incidents. The child mustered the courage to contact the local police, but they denied taking up a case until an MP had personally gotten involved, later on. How can someone do this to a kid?

I had read about a law being passed, couple of years back (2007), making employment of children a punishable offense. The person who breaks this law was supposed to pay a hefty fine & can be imprisoned for the same. But when we look around we see that children are still being employed at a very early age onwards. Looking around in Bangalore, you wouldn’t find a single road side eating joints which do not have a child as a cleaner or a waiter. Only the other day, a boy who would be no older than 10years was frying chips in hot oil at one of those bakeries which is located right at the street junction. How can the authorities be so blind to allow such practices to continue? How can we let children, who we say are the future of the country, lose out on education? How can we be so selfish to profit from the low wages given to children who are forced to do a normal man's work? How can we let this happen?

I wasn't entirely sure about the law which I remember reading in the paper, sometime in October of 2007. So I decided to check out in the internet, as to what "our country" & "our constitution’s" stand on Child Labor is. A search on "child labor in India" will point you to a law named "The Child Labor (Prohibition and Regulation) Act, 1986". Now, I am no expert in law & neither will I try to act like one. But in plain English, the law prohibits a child from being employed in "certain" employments and to regulate the conditions of work of children in "certain other employments". Ok now the "certain" list which they mentioned about has 52 items in it. Now I really fail to understand 2 things-

1) Why should be a list of "certain" employment? Why cant we abolish child labor as a whole? Why are we not focusing on compulsory primary education & instead giving loopholes by providing these lists with "certain" employments?

2) Are we at least enforcing this law for these "certain" employments? A quick glance through the list & I can see in my mind images of children whom I had seen employed in these very same "certain employments".

So we failed to give a solid proper law & we are unable to enforce the faulty one as well !

But above all this, more than the child labor, the lack of education or financial injustice, nothing is more sinister than the cruelty towards children. Has time made us so cold & selfish, that we would even hurt an innocent child? I keep seeing in the visual & printed media about the deaths of children in various part of the country. If somewhere it is due to medical negligence, then somewhere else a schoolteacher issues death penalty to a student. All these incidents become an issue of a huge controversy & discussion, but get easily forgotten once another controversy comes up. Do we always need a controversy or a death to identify what we are doing wrong? Should a 11year old die each time to make us realize that a teacher should be well trained for the job? Should half a dozen newborns die to remind us to check we manufacture & distribute the right medicine?

As children, we looked upon & trusted our elders around us to show us the right direction, to keep us safe, to teach us. But what are we doing to our country's future? A person who holds a senior office in the police force, the upholders of justice, is actually committing a crime towards a child. If this is the actions towards a child, by a person who should be protecting us, are we safe? Is our country's future safe? How many innocent kids should die to rethink our path? How many tears should be shed to melt our heart which is hardened by our greed? How can we make a difference...

letters from another planet

2009-05-29T07:06:00.001-07:00

Olla.. Here is my second post from ma cubicle. Come to think of it, it’s a really comfortable place to write from. It’s peaceful, quite & provides a good break from the brain draining work. Fine, I made up the last part. But anyways, it’s a nice place to write from. No particular agenda/topic for this write as well. Its just another write to capture/collect/collate my thoughts. There isn't much of them, but thought I might as well collect them anyhow.

I heard of stories where people hallucinate of seeing things which do not exist, ghosts, aliens, god..whatever. Such people were always termed to be either lunatics or spiritual. The former lands up in a mental asylum while pictures of the latter end up in frames on our prayer rooms. This is not about me seeing or feeling any ghost or alien. Instead it’s about me "feeling" like an alien myself. You know, the parallel galaxy thing. The last few weeks made me feel like an independent entity, disconnected & free from the human world. Lacking human contact, floating around in the human world, without having an interaction with the world. Like the parallel galaxy thingy..

I knew that the living alone thing would get to me one day, & it finally did. I tried running away form it & trying to make as much link possible with this human world. But it was bound to happen soon, however much I ran away from it. Tried making new links for the ones that broke & the cycle continued, but ultimately the inevitable came & all contacts was lost. Floating around in this human world, with all the activity happening around me. Felt like I didn’t exist, felt I was invisible; felt I was from the parallel galaxy. I spoke the same language, but it didn’t make much difference. Lot of activities seems to happen around me, but somehow I wasn’t related to any of those. I lived in a world where only I existed & that’s all it was.

Ok if anybody is still reading, bravo !!! Because I don’t think it would make much sense to me if I read this all over again. Anyways I am off to my house now, no, not the parallel galaxy one, but the one back in ma hometown in the human world. Hope it should revive the lost links & get me back inside. Else would return within a few days to continue floating...

A shelter for the free birds…

2009-04-27T23:08:00.001-07:00

Its been a while since I have updated the blog & there has been pressure on me to write something. A lot has been happening around me, lots to write about. First there was the General Elections which I was following for some time now. The IPL (Annual Gambling event where cricket is sold by people who are already exceedingly rich) was something which got my attention once I visited my folks (I don’t have a television at home). Friends were getting married, a lot was happening. Work was pretty much the same though, yeah there was more work but the pay was pretty much the same. All thanks to the guy who discovered recession.

But this entry is not about any of these. Instead it’s about a place I visited recently. It was named “Sevika Samajam” & was 12kms away from my home. The place was a shelter for all those who were not bound by relations. They were the free birds of our world; the ones who came into the world to either live alone or were deserted by their loved ones. The shelter was home to more than 40kids & 20 elderly. The main building of the “Samajam” also provided lodging for the kids. The elderly had a building of their own, which was a 10mins hike up a small hill. The whole campus was atop a small hill & had a clothe mill, a bakery, a printing press and a library. The kids were from the age group of 2 ~ 17years old.

We reached the place around noon & upon arrival we were greeted by the caretaker of the Samajam whom the kids loving called “valyammayyi” (big aunt). We were seated in the building adjacent to the main Samajam building. After awhile we were taken to the dining hall where all the kids had assembled for lunch. We served them food & later joined them for lunch. They didn’t forget to thank the almighty for the food before starting lunch. As we sat & had lunch, I noticed the happiness in their faces. Something was different about their happiness, something I never felt. Three meals a day was not something which ever got me excited. In fact it was something we had taken for granted & these days skip to keep "fit".

After lunch we headed towards the building where the elderly were staying. 2 kids guided us up the hill towards the "old age home" block. The welcome we got once we reached the block was beyond words. We met the more than 20 residents of the old age home who greeted us as if we were their long lost kids. I was surprised by the energy they showed even at this age while they were showing us around the place or talking to us about their health & daily activities. We sat & spoke with all of them for quite a while. It didn’t feel any different from a family reunion.

The whole trip made me realize a few things & those were some good lessons learnt. It was really an eye opener when I watched, how the small things which we take for granted every single day, can be like a huge gift for those who are not as lucky. More importantly I realized how even small gestures like spending some time to show care, can mean so much, that it would make even a stranger feel like one of your own. I don’t know when I would be able to visit the "Samajam" again, but I know for sure, that this is one memory I would cherish lifelong.

is aNyBodY in cOnTRol?

2009-03-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

The following entry is just my point of view at looking at a problem which exists in the sub-continent. I have added wiki links, facts & new links wherever possible to support my theory.

I will be honest with the reader, I don’t follow the newspaper regularly but, over the past 3months there one particular story which had captured my attention. It was the 26/11 attack in Mumbai. I was interested more in the aftermath of the attack rather than the attack itself. The attacks had actually happened in 8 locations within Mumbai killing 173 people & making considerable damage to property. The attack ignited widespread protests within the country. The people had entirely lost faith in their government which failed to protect them time & again. The country was still fresh from the attacks in Bangalore & Ahmadabad, when the Mumbai attacks hit them again. There was widespread unrest & effigies of politicians were burned in the country. People protested for days against the political leaders of the country & branded them as corrupt, useless & manipulative. People demanded the need for boundary less unity & criticized the politicians who supported linguistic or regional separation. A sense of fear developed in the hearts & mind of the politicians. It was a time for them to rethink their strategy, to come up with a new plan, a new strategy to manipulate their victims.

After 9days of burning the brain cells, the ruling party sprung up with a new strategy. A scapegoat was found, the very old rival, the neighboring nation of Pakistan. The government put pressure on Pakistan to surrender the terrorists it was "harboring". Through the help of world police, the process was accelerated. In front of the whole world it was established that Pakistan was on purpose harboring & encouraging terrorists. The voice of the millions of Indians who demanded justice was silenced by this transfer of blame. The blame game had won them back their stand, not only for the present, but for the upcoming elections. The purposeful rumor about a possible war added strength to their support & the government had become unshakeable as before. But is Pakistan really harboring & supporting terrorists? Well I thought of putting some facts & numbers from Wiki, to assist me:

Malegaon Blasts

Date: September 29 2008

Organization: Hindu Jagran Manch (Hindu Extremist Group)

Based Out Of: Indore, India

Bangalore Blasts

Date: July 25 2008

Organization: SIMI

Based Out Of: India

Mumbai Blasts:

Date: November 26 2008

Organization: LeT

Based Out Of: Pakistan

Lahore Cricketer Attack:

Date: March 3 2009

Organization: LeT(rumored)

Based Out Of: Pakistan

Well, my question is quite simple, if Pakistan is actually aiding & harboring terrorists, then how come these terrorists are attacking Pakistan itself. Exactly one day after Pakistan told Interpol that it would help them in the 26/11 attacks, Sri Lankan cricketers were attacked in Lahore. Now when our government says Pakistan is "harboring" terrorists, do they actually mean that Pakistan is well in control of "their terrorists" & actually aiding them? In that case, is our government well in control of the terrorist organization based out of our country? The Malegaon attacks took place in September by terrorists who are from within the country, but have we been successful in arresting them or bringing them to justice. The truth is that these criminals would soon be contesting for the coming elections(link to news article not available now). The terrorists behind the attacks in Bangalore & Ahmadabad are yet to be completely arrested & brought to justice.

So when our own nation has been so incompetent to punish our internal terrorist organizations, how are we expecting a country like Pakistan, which is already in the middle of chaos to have control over Let which is a terrorist organization much bigger in terms of magnitude? Pakistan isn't far behind the blame game & has started catching up, by making its allegations against India for the Lahore attacks. All these makes me feel, do either countries have any control of their situation. Is this blame game merely a curtain to their incompetency & failures to protect its very own people. Is our & our neighbor’s government helpless onlookers while terrorists tear apart our nations by suicide bombings. I really hope, somebody is in control.....

Blind Eye or Blinded ?

2009-03-11T00:28:00.000-07:00

Finally I get to post this one. Its been a long time since this was in my drafts section. I should admit, the last 2months was not the best time of life. But at the end of it all, I am recovering. So I thought I might as well back into finishing this one. So here goes…

In the last 6months, my country had seen a lot of bloodshed. The terrorist attack in the country in November, still finds the columns of the newspaper because of the way it changed people's life forever. The whole world stood by my country & condemned the attack. The television channels around the world aired pictures of the attacks. People around the world united to provide help & support to those who lost their loved ones. We felt we were not alone, but there were a million hands to reach out & help us.

Then there was the corner of the world nobody cares for. The land of the doomed. A place where the air is filled with stench of blood & babies are born directly into the battlefield. The small piece of land called as Palestine. The land & its people often ignored & left alone to die. We are either blinded or prefer to close our eyes to the atrocities on this land. Thousands of Palestine people fled their land in search of peace & find shelter in dingy refugee camps. Other stay behind, awaiting death. Images of Palestinian children killed in the attack is nothing new for the rest of the world. They hear the cries only through these images & even these are forgotten after the page is flipped.

It was less than a month back when Israeli forces slaughtered & killed thousands of innocent Palestinian men, women & children. This was in retaliation to the rocket attacks by some militant group, which had destroyed 3 buildings on the Israeli side. The human casualty for Israel due to these attacks was 0. The present Israeli government who was at the brink of elections saw this as the right opportunity to gain the trust of their people, by lashing out against its neighbor. Over the next 3 weeks Israeli forces launched massive attacks in Gaza which killed more than 7500 people. The world looked on for weeks while thousands were rendered homeless. Then the most shocking thing happened, when the leaders of the powerful nations, the leader of the so called “world police” justified the actions of Israel. It justified the tough stance taken by Israel & went on to even advocate that as a policy to fight terror. Well to be honest, I wasn’t entirely surprised because I had seen similar actions taken by the “world police” to fight terrorism.

After a month & half of war, the UN stepped in & demanded peace. By then the war was no more news for the people. I remember trying to find out the details about the war in the daily newspaper & finally gave up. It seems sports was more important that day, than the few dead school kids killed in Palestine. The land of the doomed continues to be centre of war no matter the day or the time & the people living in the fear of death. Presidents changed, governments fell but the innocents continues to die. The actions of the powerful are seldom questioned & the consequences ignored. And at the end of it all, to think, that all of this wouldn’t have happened if the Fuhrer hadn't left his job half done...

Christmas, New Year's & the Year Beyond

2008-12-27T11:55:00.000-08:00

It’s the holiday season, though not the best of times for me, but thought I might as well pen down something. The last few weeks were horrible. I would say, the worst 2weeks of 2008. There is a saying, that before the candle is about to be blown up, it spurts & burns most vigorously. Maybe that’s what happened. The professional side of life was already giving me a beating & then the personal side crashed. Quite a crash that I am yet to decide what to do with it. So that’s another reason why I am writing this. I haven’t yet decided whether I want to post this entry or not, but nevertheless it makes me feel much better once I write stuff down.

Things are not going that great at work. In the past 3 weeks, I have been asking a question quite too often "What am I doing? Why am I still working?". Well, I didn’t get an answer, I guess it should be to maintain equilibrium, keep the cycle going, or such crap. Now, whatever we do, we intend to get some result out of it. The result can be anything from happiness, wealth, love, hunger.. whatever. But for my work, I am yet to see the purpose, or the result. I try to think, what would be the difference if I didn’t work, what if I didn’t stretch that little extra, didn’t sit that extra half hour, didn’t skip lunch the other day, would it have mattered? Could it have possibly made anything worse? Would it make me any lesser average than I am, right now? I don’t really know, but like I said before, lets maintain equilibrium & keep the cycle running.

The personal life crash was not something I expected. Yeah, I cannot lie to myself, I did see the signs of something bad which would happen. But I didn’t maybe expect it quite this fast or with such intensity. I don’t want to go into the details & bore the reader (if there is any). But anyways, my personal life crashed & I was devastated. I just realized I didn’t have anybody to talk to or not much friends as I had before. Yes, time had pulled all of us apart with both physical & emotional distance. You sort of start to think twice before calling up an old friend, "will he/she still remember me?","will he/she be interested in talking to me or will be too busy for me?” Well yeah everybody change, even I did, a lot. So when all hell broke loose at work, my personal life also hit rock bottom. Not the time of my life I would want to keep a memory about.

So in the midst of all this came the holiday season. Couldn't go home because I was at work & had an uneventful Christmas. It was the first Christmas I was away from my family & missed them to the most. The thing I missed the most definitely would be mom's homemade wine & cake. Yah there were other things like the star which we hung outside our house or the celebrations out in the street. Here everything was quiet, except in the pubs & bars. Now there they celebrate & make it big. Well you can’t always complain, so I joined in to celebrate a very much hallmark celebration this year.

It’s only a couple of days away from New Year's Eve & I am really hoping that it is much better than my Christmas. This year was a mess, a real mess. Lot of learning in the year though, learnt it the real tough way. So I decided to come up with the list of resolutions for the new year. Now these are the things I really want to pursue & get it done during the course of the next year. So, here goes:-

1) Have Fun - By having fun I meant really having fun. Enjoying life to the max & living as if there is no tomorrow. Yeah, quite often that is the way I do live life, but planning to make it more regular going forward. More importantly trying not to get bogged down by all the crap which goes on around me. Towards the end of the year pretty much nothing effected me, but going forward want to be way tougher than that.

2) Quit my job - Honestly, I had half a mind to put this as #1 & when I had started writing this, that’s what I had decided on doing. But hold on, life is not all about work & decided to gave it the #2 position. Well by "Quit my job", I didn’t mean stop working completely, but at least make a significant change, at least with the place I work at. It’s been too long & too much to take, if you can’t move things out of your way, its smarter to move around it.

3) Travel, a lot - Visit as much places as possible. I don’t want to make a list here, bcoz it would be too long and unrealistic for me to complete in a year. In the last years, wasted too much time trying to make sure everything falls into place before going somewhere & that pretty much never happened. So in the coming year, no point waiting for the time nor the people, going to see the world. As much as possible.

4) Not to fall in love - Learnt the lessons the hard way & realized the thingy called "love" is not for me. I don’t want to argue about how much true or fake it is, different people, different perspective. But I am better off without it. And after all living life alone is not as dull as I had expected it to. Yes, it was difficult at first, but you sort of get used to it & later start enjoying it. So for all the ladies out there, I am sorry, I don’t want to end up in a wreck again.

I guess that should be it. The list seems realistic & certainly doable. So, let me wish a Happy & Prosperous New Year to myself & anybody who had the patience to read through all my nonsense.

Peace.

my god is a storybook hero

2008-12-01T08:39:00.001-08:00

The Year is 2200, its been more than 100years since the war had ended. More than 3/4th of the human population was wiped away from the surface of the planet. Nobody knows when the war started or who started it. During the war everything was destroyed, everything that man had created for his comfort. The survivors of the planet were using everything available to find out about their past. To find about their ancestors, to find about the time before the planet was torn about by the war. The first phase of the war itself was targeted at one of man's greatest invention itself - the silicon chip. Destroying a countries information systems made them powerless & was an easy to defeat. The strategy was used throughout the war from destroying the information systems of the defense which later all intensified to all walks of life.

By the 21st century everything was controlled by computer, everything was stored in computers, in fact people even stored the dates of their birthdays & anniversaries in computers. Destroying the information system of a country meant pushing it back into the dark ages. And that is what happened. In the fight to gain supremacy every country tried to destroy the information stored in the database of their opponents & force defeat. At one point it looked as if few of the allied countries were successful in mastering this strategy & win over their opponents. But then there was the holocaust, which might have been the retaliation of the defeated nations, but it pushed the world back into the dark ages.

The survivors were not many & were not at all organized. Spread apart in the far corners of the world, they had no means of communication. With whatever was left off the war, they tried to piece together their past. They were in desperate need of a culture, a history to associate with. For this purpose, they made huge excavation sites, collected & stored whatever they could find & tried to piece together the puzzle. Since all the magnetic & silicon based storage devices were completely destroyed, the only source of available data was books. Books was also not easy to find because millions of libraries were burned down during the war. But few survived & these survived books were carefully collected for studies.

The existent human beings noticed that similar books from a series of similar books were excavated from different parts of their regions. They seem to belong to an orderly series but were available in multiple copies. The books explained in intricate details about the world as it was before. The book had no mention about the war which devastated the planet, but had a lot of information about the magical world that existed at one point of time. It explained in length about the magical castles, the mighty daemons & the heroes that existed. The 7 series epic or transcript explained in detail the life of the adolescent wizard who saved the world. The life of the young wizard, his friends & his victories over evil was given in much detail.

The surviving human race, who were searching for some light into their past & culture, got that through these epic books & through this young wizard. They started to develop an admiration which later turned to worship for this young wizard. They were sure that such a young wizard was the solution to all the evil their world was going through. They started having faith & trust in this wizard whom they had only known through the epic.

But as one part of the surviving human race started having faith in the young wizard, in another corner of the world the situation was different. The same epic series was discovered here as well, but the thinkers at this part of the world had a completely different view. Even they were mesmerized by the beauty of the world but found it difficult to conclude that the wizard was the true hero. according to them, if the wizard was successful in defeating all evil, then how did the war happen? How was the magical world turn into a place which is covered by black smoke & dust clouds? why couldn't the young wizard save the beautiful trees, the magical rivers & the creatures of the world? Does it mean that the wizard was actually defeated by his enemies? It then made sense to worship & get the pleasing of the more powerful of the two rivals.

Thus knowingly or unknowingly, in the search for their past & culture, the world slowly started separating into two groups. The people who laid their faith on the young wizard who lived in the beautiful world & the people who had faith in the other Dark Wizard who might have finally won the battle. The epics were considered sacred & both groups of people argued, fought & even killed to support their belief. The people memorized the spells & prayers used by these Wizards & recited those to protect themselves from evil. Both groups of people were referring to the same epic series written by the author by the name of J.K.Rowling. The young Wizard goes by the name of Harry Potter & the dark wizard was called Lord Voldemort....

...surprised? Smiling at the stupidity of the people of 2200, who discovered the Harry Potter series? Then do save it, save it for the people who found the book authored by a person referred to as Vyasa & to all those millions of people who have been preaching, sacrificing, fighting, killing & dying for the sake of this book & their heroes...

My Coffee Cup & The Little Devil

2008-09-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

It came into my life during the summer of 2007
I treasured it as a valuable gem
It was my friend whenever I needed a break for a coffee
It was beautiful, with its lustrous silver exterior
I took good care of it, atleast thrice every week
It never complained when I didn't use it for few days
It didn't wince when I went outside for a cup of coffee..
It shined every time I rinsed it with vim & dried it..
I protected it inside my cabinet every time I went for vacation..
It didn't even leave my side for a single day
& waited for me to reach office everyday ... My Coffee Cup

And then the day came..
the day I would part with my friend
there was not a cloud in the sky to shed a tear
not knowing what lays ahead of me, i stroll to my friend's place
he is engrossed with work , so i fare goodbye..
on the way back, I take a path which I hadn't traveled much before...
I keep my coffee cup on the table & within a quick flash the Little Devil gets its hands around it
with an evil grin it holds my dear coffee cup & throws it into the darkness of a trash can
I stay motionless with shock, I reach inside the darkness of the trash can..
only to find my friend stained with a used chewing gum..
I say good bye to my friend who was there with me for more than year
good bye my dear coffee cup...

(the little devil still laughs..)

@ N.A.B

2008-09-22T12:35:00.000-07:00

Its been close to a month since I penned down something. The last post was about a great cause & I got mixed emotion about it. Well, this one is different. It is different in the fact that I assume my readers (if any) would completely agree with what I am about to write. So without further adieu, let me introduce the main character of today's post - my left toe. Yup, thats right, the central character of my post is not me, but my left toe. Well its about an incident which happened when I was small. When I mean small, I mean not so long back, ie; 6years old. It was one of those dry summer nights when I had gone to bed & woke up in the middle of the night for a drink. So, I got out of bed, slipped out of the room & into the kitchen. It was pitch dark & I decided to skip switching on the light. I started feeling around the room to get a glass & finally got one from the shelf. I decided to get some water from the refrigerator in the adjoint room & moved on. I moved closer to the room in the dark & pulled open the door. "duddddddddddddd" (now that was the sound when a really tin of skimmed milk falls straight on your toe). Each time I look at my toe, I still feel the shearing pain that went through me when the tin fell on my toe. The cut still reminds me of that incident each time I put on my socks. If you are thinking why I am writing about this incident now... well, that might be my closest ever experience on how lack of vision can effect a person.

The actual source of inspiration for this post came not from my toe, but my recent visit to the NAB (National Association for the Blind). The visit was part of an initiative by our community to give something back to our community. For this NAB was selected as the venue & we would be painting & hardening the NAB. Though I have been thinking about it for a long time, this was my first experience for any voluntary work. So I joined in & decided to do something. I reached the venue at 9 in the morning, surprising many who have never seen me before 11. The place immediately got my admiration, it was nothing like I had expected it to be. I would say call it a beautiful campus in the middle of a busy city. The place seemed unaware about the traffic, the noise & the tension of the outside world. The building seemed to be made of stone/rock & the garden around it gave it a sense of peace & silence. There was atleast 100 of us volunteers, all ready to jump into action.

Before we start with our work, we were invited inside to have breakfast. By the time I reached towards the dining area the place was crowded & the tables were taken up by the volunteers. I and my friend decided to get the food in a place & chit-chat while leaning on a pillar. Our conversation was the usual, comparing the salaries of friends in other companies & bitch about how less they pay us, how we are the only single people left on planet earth & how beer should be taxed lesser. I was leaning against the wall when somebody collided against me from my back. I lost my balance & my initial reaction was to turn back to see the person, who almost pushed me down & to give a few rude comments. But I turned back to see a boy who was around 15, holding onto the wall for support, cane in one hand. What went through me at this moment is not something I can put down here in terms of words. Few seconds back I was happy, yet complaining about how the world is always unfair to me, then struck by anger, shock & sadness. I stood there silently while the boy apologized to me, while I care taker guided him to a room nearby. The next few minutes were followed by silence, neither of us spoke. We completed our food & got to the tasks we were assigned.

I could not get over the incident the whole day, maybe because it was the first time I was in contact with a person, who was less privileged than us. "Less privileged" is the way I would like to put it here, because for them we are the privileged class. People say, you will never understand the sweetness of victory if you haven't tasted the bitterness of failure. A rich man will never realize his worth unless, he has experienced the hardships of poverty. How much ever we try, we can never realize the privileges which we take so much for granted but is a dream for many. The boy who bumped into me & many other students of the NAB were the less privileged ones I was helping out the other way. It is true that sense of satisfaction is more when you are doing something not for ourselves but for helping others. But in my case the irony was that, they can never feel the change we had made to the world around them.

The facility had specific classes for different kinds of training. We saw a weaving mill, a mechanical workshop, light engineering & computer training centers. The library houses many books in the brail code. In a world where we take all our senses for granted it was impossible to understand to understand how one could survive if one of the senses was turned off. We are often busy complaining of all the luxuries we do not have but never truly understand the worth of what we already have. For me the visit was more than just a service to the community, but it was an opportunity for me to take a step back & thank for all what we have got. We did a good job of cleaning up the place, gardening & painting the walls. The day was concluded by a mimicry performance by one the students of the NAB. He mimicked the sounds of a rooster, a railway announcement & a rickshaw. While I sat there listening to this marvelous performance I couldn't stop wondering if the talented lad standing in front of us would ever be lucky enough to see a rooster or a rickshaw. When we hear the word "rooster", the first thing that comes to our mind is an image of a rooster, with its brightly colored feathers, its bright red crown. But what about the child who has never seen a rooster in his life & can only dream of one, but is able to recognize it just by the sound.

All of us left the places with new smiles on our face. Few of them had the satisfaction of doing something for the community. Few of the others were proud of their gardening & painting skills they displayed during the event. But that day, I left the place promising myself that the next time I look at my left toe, I will be thankful for all what I have got...

The Valley in Denial

2008-09-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

The motivation behind this post came from a friend I met on a Social Networking Website. He has recently uploaded few videos about the uprising in Kashmir. Now, for a person like me who doesn't own a television & has no newspaper subscription, I was clueless about the struggle in Kashmir. Inspired by the story narrated in the videos he had shown, I decided to do some research. I soon realized the shear size of the revolution which was taking place in our own country. I even came across the article by Arundathi Roy in Outlook which was the final motivation needed for me to write this article. Was shying away from writing something here for a long time, but this is worth the trouble.

The freedom struggle in India is not a story told by the textbooks in India but also the key factor which makes India stand apart from the rest of the nations of the world. When many of the oppressed nations gained its Independence by violence, our strategy was different - Ahimsa. Our path was difficult & tedious, but we achieved our target in 1947, 90Years since the struggle had started. Now its been 19years since the struggle in Kashmir started, do we have to wait for 71years more to realize our mistakes?

In the past 2-3months Kashmir has been making news throughout all the news channels. The Amarnath Controversy which started as a minor land dispute has triggered off a revolution, which the government cannot put it hands around. For the past 19years it had used all methods possible money, violence , disinformation, torture, elaborate networks of collaborators and informers, terror, imprisonment, blackmail and rigged elections to subdue what democrats would call "the will of the people". But just when they announced that Kashmir is finally millitant free, all hell broke loose.

The valley has been the center of controversy ever since any of us could remember. Both India & Pakistan fought over the land & had its share of "shahids" & "bravery awards. But the ones who kept loosing was the people of Kashmir. They are mere tenants of a land which they harvest but is not theirs. The simple things in life which we keep for granted like safety,security, justice is only a dream for them. Whether its the war declared by Pakistan or the blockade on the Srinagar highway, the loosers are always the same. If they raise their voice they get linked with millitants. If they protest they get shot down. If they complain they disappear.

It is understandable for our so-called secular government to stay quite & simply watch at the drama that is unfolding in Kashmir. It tried doing the one thing it is good at, calling the whole revolution an act by some ISI agents inside Kashmir. But its usual strategy didn't pay off this time, when the media played images of stone pelting youth who didn't carry any AK 47 nor a bomb strapped on the waist. On 18nth August 9Lakh Kashmiri's who citizens of India marched towards the UN demanding freedom. This was only one week after the Hurriyat Leader Sheikh Abdul Aziz was shot dead during a peaceful demonstration towards the LOC demanding that since the Jammu road had been blocked, it was only logical that the Srinagar-Muzaffarabad highway be opened for goods and people. This in a nation which upholds peace & ahimsa !!!

We grew up seeing images of the great Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru releasing a pair of caged pigeons & granting them freedom, then why do we cage the people of Kashmir & snatch away their freedom. We demanded self rule from the British & now we deny the same self rule form the people of the valley. It is still unclear whether our secular government is failing to see the evident or trying to keep its eyes shut. Its behavior is quite predictable, predicting that the opposition will make the most of the opportunity to crush the government if it decides a decision in favor of the Kashmiri people. As far as the government is concerned it has reached a level of equilibrium where it is not giving a chance for the opposition to find fault & the not-so-secular opposition party will not complain at the plight of Kashmir. The only one thing that the opposition could complain is for more land area for Amarnath Pilgrimage which was more than ever successful this year.

The big question is now concerning the future. How long will the government expect the future rulers to tackle the problems & keep postponing? How long can one expect to silence the revolution which is trembling through Kashmir? How much longer will the Indian Army arrest innocent protesters & frame them as member of ISI & millitant groups? How much longer do we put them in denial? In the big rush to become one of the worlds biggest super powers lets not forget what our forefathers preached & the path which made us what we are..

The Toddy Shop

2008-07-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, now dont come to conclusions seeing the post title itself. Well its not any story about my escapades at any toddy (Wiki: Palm wine, also known as palm toddy) shop. I had serious thoughts before naming this post, since I am writing about a toddy shop while the blog title itself is "chai stall". But then, the whole topic is about the toddy shop, so thats that. Well, here goes the introduction to my post. This has been a project which I was working on, not a widely entertaining topic, but never the less, something which I was working on for a month now. I am not planning to complete writing this post within a single day, so there will be minor changes & corrections on the way. Without further due, let me come to the topic. It all started off one day during lunch with my folks. My mom was talking to us about some distant relative who happened to own a toddy shop & has ended up to be filthy rich. Now lets call this person
Mr Chief* ( * Names have been modified since I dont remember the actual ones ). Mr. Chief owned atleast 4 toddy shops in my hometown, which was giving him steady profit. But unfortunately these shops were dingy, dark & inaccessible for a common man. Usually these places are unhygienic that people prefer staying away from it. And this is when I had started thinking bout taking alternatives careers far far away from the mysterious coding world. Any option beyond the coding world seemed like a brilliant opportunity. So just for the sake of irritating my mom, I start planning & making strategies to prove how good I would have been, if I was given a chance to work as a Manager for a toddy shop. Now my managerial interest sprang in & started creating detailed plans about the toddy shop & how I will be managing it. So here is my project on how I would be managing a toddy shop.

Basic Requirements: Mr. Chief ie; investor. Preferably somebody with a toddy shop license.
Land , the availability & location of the land would determine the architecture of the shop
Employees: 6-7 Waiters who speak English fluently & can converse in the local language.
Toddy. The rest of the requirements will be discussed during the course of the post.

Now starting with the construction/architecture of the building, as mentioned before it depends solely on the availability & location of the land. The location of the piece of land shouldn't ideally effect the internal setting of the place. I have already designed the board for the Toddy shop, which is shown at the beginning of the post. If the location of the land is within the city limit, I am assuming we have limited space, so it means an underground parking lot & the shop will be part of an existing building. A ground floor will be preferred in such an arrangement. Even though it doesn't serve any purpose, a slanting roof in the shape of a hut's roof will be placed above the entrance. This should add to the ambiance & give the feel that one is actually walking into an authentic toddy shop. Now,if the location is outside city limits, we can quite safely have adequate space & construct a building of our own. The roof again as discussed before will be a slanting roof resembling a hut. On top of the roof a 3inch thickness of artificial "thatched roof" made of silica cement (the new variety with which we can artistically make shapes) can be placed. This is to give the look of the thatched roof similar to an authentic toddy shop.

Coming to the interiors, dim but adequate lighting. Ambiance is one thing customers look these days in such joints & at most importance should be given while designing the interiors. The walls can be covered by wooden paneling, which might be quite expensive. Again the use of silica cement can be used to give a wood like finish. The seating should be comfortable but at the same time different. An option is to have jute woven comfortable chairs in which one can relax & have a sip of their drink. The tables can be preferably be the thick bark of a wooden with candle light. Use of strategically placed speakers playing the sound of wind, water & the birds can help recreate the experience one gets while having the drink on the side of a beach. The walls can be decorated by articles often related to toddy tappers, like the vessel in which toddy is collected or an artificial pine/coconut tree in the corners (original would be much better)

Moving onto service, in the era of fierce competition customers can be very demanding & good service is not a privilege but a need. The waiters/bartenders should be well trained to behave politely & courteously to the customers. Fluency in English & also the local languages will help not only to cater to tourists but also the general public. A suggestive dress code would be similar to that of a toddy tapper. A turban on the head, a lungi (long cloth worn around the waist) and a beach wear t-shirt should do just fine. Toddy can be served either in earthen cups or even made of wood. Both of these would also help in keeping the liquid cool for a longer time. A live band playing the local soothing music would help the customers have a good time. Care should be taken to make sure that the music should be played at a moderate volume keeping in mind that its a place to relax & take a break. It should appeal not only to the general public but also interest the thirsty tourist.

Finally & post importantly, coming to the toddy. Well I do not have much prior experience to grade toddy, but I would like to stress on the phrase "the best your money can buy". The freshly fermented toddy should be readily available to the customer along with his favorite snacks. Hot & steaming snacks should make the toddy shop not only a place to get a sip, but also delight your taste buds.

So thats my account on how it would be if I be the manager of The Toddy Shop. The intention was to test myself for my management skills & ideas, but finally it sounds like something related to hotel management. After all we have to change based on what the time demands. Hoping some toddy shop owner out there is gonna read this & take me in as the manager, please do visit us @ The Toddy Shop.

- signed, the manager

A Beautiful Death

2008-06-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

This one entry has been in a drafts for quite some time. I would say it had been there for even longer in my brain (peanut sized part inside my skull). Now the title of this entry might be really confusing, well I hope to explain it as I go along in this entry. But before all that I would like to note the motivation for this particular entry. It was a few months back on a complete jobless Saturday morning when I decided to watch Mr Magmorium's Wonder Emporium. Well the movie is about a magical toy store owned by a person called Mr. Magmorium. But the part of the movie which made me think was a monologue by Dustin Hoffman who plays Mr.Magmorium. He says “ When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.”

Well for some weird reason it really struck me & I decided to check this out by doing something commonly known as Googling. Well, what our dear Mr. Magmorium said was actually true, the ending of the lead character in Shakespeare biggest works of arts King Lear, is by two simple words – he dies.

Quote:

A messenger enters and reveals that Edmund has also died. Lear asks Edgar to loosen Cordelia’s button; then, just as Lear thinks that he sees her beginning to breathe again, he dies.

And here is where my peanut sized brain starts working. We look around in our world, we see a constant cycle. A cycle of birth, life & finally death. Though death or loss of life can happen in a blink of an eye, the whole cycle before it is long & the most celebrated one. Unlike death ie; the end of life, the beginning of life doesn't happen in a blink of a second. To the egg to the final newborn baby the process of life goes on. I don't think there would be an exact instant when we can pin point & mark as the beginning of life. Is it the embryo in the mother's womb or did the egg itself had life. Is it only after the baby comes out into the world that we call that the life has begun. Well for the majority of us that is when life begins, because of which we have the horoscopes & the other stuff which I don't understand, begin from the date of “birth”.

Well if explaining the origin/beginning of life seemed difficult then the process of life would be much more complex. I believe the life cycle of man is quite different from almost all other living species. His actions in most occasions are controlled by logic while on other instances by emotion. It becomes almost impossible to judge how a human being can react to the exact same situation at different point of time. He lives his life first trying to learn, then trying to use this knowledge to attain & finally to give whatever he attained through his life time, to the next generation.

As a child, man learns the skills to face the world & attain from it. These skills can range from something specific like math, physics or maybe a special skill like riding a horse or hunting. Mostly throughout his childhood he learns & fine tunes his knowledge to go out & face the world. He takes it for granted that a long life lies ahead of him for which he has to be equipped & all his efforts are channelized to attain his goal, which might be few years or even decades later.

In his second phase of life, man uses the skill he had acquired to acquire wealth, fame & whatever his fancy may be. Now this is the most ambitious of phases, here he builds bridges & roads. He constructs houses & erects monuments, hospitals. He builds schools so that the next generation can also equip themselves with the skills. He knows for sure what his goals are & has already planned ahead for decades. He acquires wealth so that he can survive during his old age & his kids can survive for another generation. He is concerned about the education & welfare of the kids he has not yet had. He comes up with ingenious solutions which can cure grave illness, can eradicate poverty , which can bring in prosperity even decades later. He plants saplings which would become big trees within the next 5 to 6 decades. For him its a rats race out there, where he struggles today, so that he or his further generations can have a better tomorrow.

Now the third phase, well here is where you actually get the point of the cycle. Unlike the previous two phases, in this phase its all about utilizing or giving. By the time man reaches this stage of his life, he realizes he has attained a lot in his life, there isn't enough time to utilize all what he has achieved. Well, this phase of life unlike the first two, have no exact time of occurrence in man's life. Few men live their complete life in the second phase while few are too weak & reach the third phase quiet quickly. This phase is different for one more reason, all of a sudden there is a quick change in perspective. In the first two phases, man had taken his life for granted & was preparing & planning for years ahead. But in this phase the assurance of life ahead starts decreasing. He realizes he had made more than he could possibly utilize & the time ahead might be too less to see the fruits of his efforts in his second phase. The plans of prosperity which he had made, the saplings which he had planted are yet to take form. This is the phase of giving. Man tries to share his wisdom at this age, he has become wise over the years & now his experience of life seems more valuable than the lessons he learnt as a child. He shares his wealth he acquired & the knowledge he gained to the next generation.

But unfortunately the next generation is too busy building & continuing the path of their fathers & forefathers had made. They do not fear the future because for them life is an assurance. The cycle of life continues... As time closes in, we realize that all we had achieved & acquired is just something which will pass on to the next, but there is something which can never be passed on. It is the experiences in life.. the love, the sorrow, the hardships, the hate, all these however much we try to express with words, can never be completely understood other than by experience. We realize all the sacrifices we made in the first & second phase of life to achieve something which now, is of no use to use. The love we ignored, the beauty we failed to recognize, the times we failed to thank, all these start coming back to us. But now its too late.. They say, when we near death, it feels as if our whole life passes in front of our eyes like a slide show on power point, if only we could pause at a point & make up for all what we missed...

Then who has a beautiful death if, every man passes through all these life cycles & regrets at the end. Well, I think few of them out there do. The few who love life & live everyday in their life as if its the last. The few who find time to look up at the blue sky, the chirping birds, the rays of the sun through the dew drops on the leaves. The few who find love in their life & enjoy each and every moment of their life. For them the second phase of life is not only for gaining wealth but for loving what they do & most importantly...living.

After all, like Maximus said “If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!”

F.E.A.R

2008-05-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

Its been long time since I put down something in my space. Lots had been going on in my life & most of them in the negative direction. Problems at work, tragedies in personal life has been taking a toll on life. To keep my mind away from all these problems, decided to write down something, which was going through my mind for some time...

Well, the spark for this blog entry came one Saturday afternoon during an argument with my dad, which is a very common situation whenever we talk. He is a true believer in honesty, kindness & at most times I feel he is the reincarnation of Gandhi, in the 21^st century. Anyways, this time the topic of argument was spiritual. It seems my folks has been really disturbed in my lack in belief in the almighty & everything related to it. Every time they brought the topic of “god”, “temple” I either leave the room or change topics. So it was time for Dad to step up and “advice” me. Well his explanation was simple, “When I was your age, even I was a rebel like you. I didn't attend prayers & didn't believe in god. But when I grew older, I changed & I am sure you will too...” With these words he left me there while the words sunk in....

I stood there trying to understand what he meant. The latter portion of his words sounded like a hidden threat... But I kept thinking over & over about it. I realized he was not the first person in whom I had seen a change. Why do people starting fearing the lord while they grow older? Do they fear about their actions in their present life & its outcome in the next? Do they fear the punishment they might get in heaven/hell (jacuzzi filled with wine/cauldron filled with boiling water) ?

Then it struck me, only one thing is common in all my questions... FEAR. If there is one thing which definitely increases with your age (along with graying) is fear. The reasons might be different but fear is for sure which never reduces with age. I was watching a small baby the other day, the curiosity it had towards a burning candle. The curiosity of the source of the beautiful light draws it towards the candle & finally the baby extends its hands to touch & discover this glowing beauty. Luckily we saw the child in time & took it away the flame, but if it wasn't the case, the burn on the finger would definitely hurt the child, but more than that it would register a sense of fear towards fire from then on. Most of us learn to fear something the hard way, we fall down & start fearing of heights. We fall down & start fearing off running in the rain. It is not fear alone which teaches us this, but common sense which evolves as we grow. But we often see that many of the minor things, which we are not afraid of as a child start giving us nightmares when we grow up.

The fear of loosing never haunted us as a child when it came to challenging your buddy to a running race or participating for the class group song. But the same situation now would bring sweat to our forehead.. What changed? Why does the fear of loosing haunt us now, when our mind has become more mature & our bodies have become stronger? When we were kids we used to run in the ground with a sense of freedom & joy. The sun beaming above us & shinning its light in between the clouds which floated in the clear blue sky. We used to be happy looking up at the sky & trying to associate the shapes of the clouds to things we know. How often do we look up into the sky now & try to appreciate its beauty? We now look up into the sky only to see whether its going to rain. Even the rains used to give us a lot of joy then. Now the sight of rains tells us we need to get back home early or we are surely gonna be drenched. Not at all can be grouped under fear, but fear appears in front of us in various forms and tests us every single day.

Every single day of our lives knowingly or unknowingly we live in fear. When we were a child we used to love having candy, but now even for such a small deed we think twice. Fear of gaining weight, fear of meeting your expenses, fear of diabetes, fear fear fear... But what is the outcome of all this fear? Tension, anxiety, nervousness, lack of self confidence & finally faith. How does faith fit into all this?

When there is fear in the mind it really helps if we could imagine/feel that there was a super power which would magically get us out of all the problems to safety. We hope this magical power will not drag us through hardships & get us the easy ticket. The same logic can be seen in the sudden outpour of students to temples, churches & mosques either before the exam or just before the results. Even the biggest Atheists in a situation of crisis call out the name of the lord, not because they suddenly became believers, but because of the fear of the problems to come & for a magical escape...

Different people face fear differently. Some fight it out by facing their worst faces. Some like to close their eyes & hope the magical hands of their lord would make it disappear. And then there are some who succumb to it... Only time will tell how we will deal with ours....

which is your club?

2008-04-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

Its 3:30AM in the morning.. I just completed writing this blog entry & really tired.. Feeling a lot of relief once i completed this.. Its been 2 weeks since I started writing this one & wanted to make it perfect because this is what I wanted to shout out at this world for s long.. so read on...

I was watching the sports channel the other day when I saw a huge riot in a football stadium. I didn't understand what was the reason for the commotion but watched the policemen beat up the angry mob. People were throwing stones, empty bottles & attacking the policemen at first. The second scene showed some stalls being burnt & lot of fire in the stadium created by the crowd. The police didn't stand back either, they returned with water canons on the angry mob. The pretty newsreader lady at the end of the video explained that this was the riot which resulted at the end of a football somewhere in the west. The feature which followed explained how this was a common scene after each football match. Well, not used to seeing such happenings in our country, I decided to do some "googl-ing" and read about the football riots on the net. What I saw was really shocking, football fans burning, attacking & destroying property & seriously injuring supporters of their rival teams.

The news about the riot in Japan in the year 2005 which resulted in the death of 300, was the most nastiest incident in football history. All these news made me curious on finding out more about these “clubs”. I decided to research on the two biggest club football rivals itself, Manchester United & Liverpool. In spite of the numerous similarities between the clubs they have been arch rivals. Both the clubs are based out of two different places in England. But both teams have players from all over the world playing for it ( nothing to do with patriotism). Both have its team colors, team flags, team songs & team jerseys. Both have their respective heroes, who are considered a level above the normal human, which can be explained by the money they make every hour even when they are not playing. Even after going reading all this, I still didn't understand one basic thing... Y are the people killing each other just because they like a particular football team??? Y do the people of these rival groups look at each other with hatred & keep away from the other??? Y is the only interaction between the two clubs only violence??? It just didn't make sense !!! The people are from the same part of the country, they speak the same language, they are from same ethnicity, neither of them did anything wrong for which they should be punished. Then why???

I tried thinking about it in a different perspective. For doing that, we have to go a level higher. No, not to a higher sport, but to a higher level of grouping. Lets say region wise.. It was in the late 1940s that two similar “groups” were formed in the Asian sub-continent. These groups had much bigger members which makes us difficult to actually call them as clubs, but when we compare them with the previous analogy, they are quite similar to the English clubs. These two “groups” again formed two different areas of the Asian sub-continent. Though it was a single mass of land at first, formation of the “groups”/”clubs” forced it to be divided as separate regions having a common border. The two groups again had their respective colors, their flags and even the distinct song. But again members of both groups spoke the same languages, were from the same ethnicity, believed in similar religions even. But still, from its moment of creation till this day, it has only been hatred between the two groups. Even these two groups had their respective heroes, though heroes changed over time, never did the groups unite. The only difference between the football clubs & these groups is the fact that, in this case the leaders itself was the reason for the creation of these two groups. People who used to stand as one, was divided by barb wires & fences just because of the ego & difference of a few men. Yes, again the opinion of these few men were valued more than the others, hence their decision to form groups & separate people was put into practice. I am not talking about any fairy tale in any far off land, but the plight of two countries India & Pakistan after the separation in 1947. The stubbornness & ego of a few men resulting in decades of bloodshed. Do we ever stand up & ask each other why we fight. What is that we hate in our so much that we are even willing to die but wont let our neighbor set foot in our land? How is that we actually differ? Don't we share almost the similar gene pool even? On any given day can we actually spot the difference between an Indian & our neighbor.. Nobody knows... But yet we don't get up... we don't get up & try to see over the walls we have created around us...

But still I don't want to stop here.. Lets go 1 more level up.. In this level the “groups”/”clubs” are not divided by barb wires or fences. The members of these groups cannot be again distinguished based on their ethnicity, color of their skin nor the languages they speak. The members of these clubs were both & brought up in the same land. They cultivate the same soil, eat the same food, speak similar languages but yet they seem to treat the other differently. The members of these groups often fight & the clashes always lead to bloodshed & death. Every year millions of people die due to clashes between these rival “clubs”. The members are not isolated to a particular region or country, but in fact they are spread equally in the world. Though members of different clubs interact, it is often bound by limits. Relationships & marriage between members of different clubs are a big taboo & again leads to bloodshed. These clubs again have its own colors, its own songs, its own “constitution” or rule book which assigns the rights & duties of its members. It has its own heroes as well, both human & supernatural. While the supernatural remain only in the books & pictures, the human form often competes with its rivals to prove superiority. These “clubs” or “groups” had been created & followed for one reason alone, to separate, to distinguish & differentiate people on the basis of their beliefs.

Man always tried to explain the various phenomena which happened around him. For doing so he used either the help of science or help of the supernatural. Anything which man couldn't explain with science ended up as being the work of the supernatural. As years passed by and man evolved, many of the things which were once called supernatural became known as science. The Sun, Moon, rain, lightning were earlier considered as work of the supernatural, but as time passed by, man identified these as forces of nature & had explanation for each of these. But yet there were quiet a few which man was yet to discover.. He tried explaining these phenomena as work of the supernatural & as always different people explained these phenomena differently. This lead to different beliefs among the same human kind & finally man's ignorance slowly created religion... Man's creative mind helped him create characters which had superhuman strength & abilities. These heroes were the main characters in the “constitution” or rule books each religion had. Each hero had a special ability, if one could cure diseases, other could eradicate hunger. When one created the world, other destroyed the world. When one created wealth other blessed man with wisdom. In this way for each & every need man had a hero.. ( no I am not talking about the Justice League on Cartoon Network).

But here we stand in the 22^nd century, completely clueless on why we are fighting. We are fighting each other simply based on religious beliefs, the same beliefs which was created by man himself. As soon as a child is born the name of a religion is stamped on it & he bears it for the rest of his life. The human no more has a choice as to select his belief but is forced to believe what his forefathers believed. Though religious “groups” were formed based on people who think alike, now it is more of people who are bound & forced to think in a particular way. When will we stand up & realize that the wall we have around is, was created by us alone??? When will we realize that the people whom we hurt & kill, are no different from us.. What are we doing to each other.. When will we stand up & look above the wall...

following "fair legs"

2008-03-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

its not been long since i wrote my last entry. I am not used to writing frequently but this time I decided to write something about the past. Since my brain cells are deteriorating day by day, I thought it would be good if I could write down few of the nice memories I had. Now this one happened when I was in college, 3rd year of college to be precise. After having a very eventful 1st & 2nd year I had decided to settle down and search for my books. The handful of supplies added to my motivation.

It was the time of the year, I started learning the name of the textbooks - exam time. The supplies made the situation worse by giving me a time table similar to the schedule for the Olympics. To make things worse a professor was giving me a hard time in college. Since the name of the teacher was that of a god, I decided to meet up with the almighty himself. It was an evening after college, when I decided to go to church (now, this was before i lost faith in the super natural). I went to my favorite church, favorite not because of the girls who came there, but because of the calm & quiet of the place (so unlike me!! ).

I sat there in front of the altar praying for half an hour. I was lost in prayer (or sleep) for over an hour when I received a call from my friend. My loyal friend had decided to come down to check on me & to see how I was feeling. We sat there talking for some time talking till we decided to call it a day & head back home. Since neither of us had any wheels, we had to walk for a good 30minutes till we reach the main road.. Just as we were about to leave the church, the power went, which meant we have to stumble our way in the dark. The street lights were out & even the road was nowhere to be seen. We stood at the beginning of the path leading to the road, but was clueless on how to proceed. We knew there was a pond towards on one side & bushes on the other... We had almost lost hope, thats when we saw it....

... fair legs...It was there in the distance. the only thing which was visible in front of us. We were drawn to these white legs & without waiting a second we followed it. It seemed the fair legs was going through the same path which lead to the main road. Neither of us spoke a word but we both knew what the other was thinking. We both silently agreed that if we have got to reach the road, it is definitely by following these fair legs. As we walked on the path, we tried guessing whom did these fair legs belong to. It could be that a beautiful girl walking in front of us. Maybe it was the divine presence himself trying to guide us back to our homes or maybe its just an old man wearing his white dhothi. However much we tried we couldn't see anything beyond the fair legs. We didn't want to hurry & scare of the person so quietly we followed fair legs. Thirty minutes had passed & our curiosity reached its max when we were about to about to reach the main road. We knew that once we reach the main road, with the street lamps, the identity of fair legs would be revealed..

...Finally we reached the main road, the headlights of the passing cars came our way & we saw...first we coudnt believe it, but then we looked closely & saw there was not two, but 4 fair legs... as the second car passed by we saw who fair legs actually was... We still dont know whether fair legs was a he or a she, coz fair legs was not a human, fair legs was a brown colored, thick fur coated, all indian doggy !!! I & my friend stared at each others for few seconds & broke out laughing.. Maybe almighty didnt take me to the main road nor help me pass the exams(now u know y i lost faith) but that whole incident, is one I can never forget...

Calvin & the ground floor bathroom

2008-03-17T12:33:00.000-07:00

The brave soul Calvin comes home after work from the query in the late hour of the night... As he walks in the door he realizes he is yet to do his chores of cleaning the ground floor bathroom... The sandman crawls onto shoulder Calvin's nose to sprinkle sleep sand into his eyes... Sleeps draws Calvin nearer to his bed... He brushes it away bcoz he is afraid of his plight the following day if he fails to clean the bathroom. Fear of insults & nasty growls in the early hours of the morning grips Calvin.. He decides, that this is the day when he will face his fear... of the ground floor bathroom..

The young(compared to the rest) brave soldier peeps into the room to assess the situation. He charges in with his laser gun(broom) & mug...
He looks around & see the room which hasn't been cleaned for over 2years. The cobwebs covering almost the entire ceiling, the thick gooey nuclear waste in the corner of the room & the muddy colored coating on the washing machine. The window sills looks as-if its been covered with a slimy substance similar to a chemical factory leak..

He immediately gets to work with his broom. The nasty spider which was waiting to lunge at the unsuspecting Calvin sprang out from the dark. With its huge wiry legs it tries to attach Calvin. But it takes less than a second for the mighty Calvin to react, with a quick swipe Calvin slays the monster& gets back to work..

Firstly he gets rid of the gooey stuff on the window sill. The stuff looks really toxic & Calvin doesn't risk touching them with his hand. He immediately transfers the waste into a polythene cover which would protect him from the toxic.

Calvin doesn't waste time & quickly cleans the window sill. He soon discovers the cleansing power of the gooey chemical substance & uses it to get a better shine. Within no time the window sill shines & sounds squeky clean. With the power of the new chemical substance Calvin pounces on the nuclear waste in the corner of the room. But against this highly corroding layer of waste even the chemical substance fails. He gets hold of the brush & vigorously scrubs the floor. Repeated scrubbing shows some change in the color of the floor & soon the thick layer of dirt gives ways to the shiny floor beneath.

Suddenly Calvin notices streaks of blue color on the walls of the room. Since he has never used such a substance ever he approaches the substance with utmost caution. He realizes it is a stain which resulted due to a blue colored liquid which was supposed to give whiteness to clothes. Slowly but methodically Calvin removes the stain using a damp clothes, making sure no sign of the stain is left behind. With the confidence he attained so far Calvin proceeds to clean the washing machine & feels proud looks at the life reflecting of the sparkling clean machine.

Tired & exhausted he steps back to admire his work. shining floors & window sill, light reflecting of the washing machine & a clean ceiling... he congratulates himself for his effort.. Yes unlike his work at the query, here he doesn't expect a word of appreciation nor a pat on the back. Here he does it for mere survival, to make sure he remains part of the pack. Fear of being insulted & compared to a pig makes him forget the tiredness of the day & keeps his going. He tries to get some sleep but it seems even the sandman has started snoring. Without making the slightest noise he slowly & quietly he crawls into bed to finally get some sleep...

Live today Die tomorow

2007-06-30T22:14:00.000-07:00

الله ، واشكركم على هذه الحياة الجميلة

I have been wanting to make this post for a long time
lot of thoughts going though my head
i am confused, i donno what is right & what is wrong

when i was a kid mom used to give me 5Rs while going to school
that was my budget
i could buy anything at all with that money!!
& i used to wait every morning for tht moment
in fact no matter what I have, that 5Rs would be enough to make me happy
i could have some sweets, sip-up and a Pepsi if all my friends pool in the balance (.50+2.5+1.5+.5+......)

times have changed... now i earn many times for than my 5Rs
but it is never enough
never at all
every end of the month I suffer for it
all of a sudden my needs have changed, the 5Rs have lost its value
i woudnt mind tipping a guy 20Rs now which would have been my meal for 4days just a few years back

but still i say its not enough
what has changed??

now I sytarted planning for the future
i want a house
a car maybe
& all the luxuries the world has to offer
for that I save today

i dont take proper meals today..
i dont enjoy with my friends even though I have the money for it
i now have all the money I wanted before but I am not having
I can buy a pepsi all for myself without my friends pitching it
yet I am not happy
i am saving for the future
i am saving for my car
i am saving for my house

I am living for the future

I see a lot of people around me
i have friends from different walks of life
all with different thoughts
all different in every way
i am sure I cant get them all together in 1 room without a huge brawl..

& looking at them I wonder how we should live life

on one side is people who live life as if there is no tomorrow
taking life as it comes
people who found college as a place to have fun
had maximum fun in college & still doing so
working & earning enough to keep themselves happy for the day
they dont worry bout the future
they want to live their day as if there is no tomorow...
they dont plan for the future...
they consume what they have & share the rest with others

then there is the other extreme of my friends
people who plan about their future to such an extent, that I am sure they know where they will be buried when they die at 65years..
these are the people who slog in college to get the number 1 spot
for them there is no cricket, no chit-chat, no trips
its only living for the future
for them, they dont have fun now... since for them they need to be successful in the future
these people do not live now
they are mere ghosts who come & leave our lives without any influence
for them, they want to live in the future
they are CEOs, CIOs & MDs of the future
i have no doubt about that...

in between these two extremes I belong
i donno what is right & what is wrong
shud i live as if there is no tomorow & pay for it in the future
or shud I waste the prime time of my life worrying bout the CEO post at 35years..

what if I dont exist in the future
what if there is no tomorow
what if one fine day the almighty calls me to his side...
what will happen to all my plans
what will happen to all that savings for my house or my car
what is the use for that pieces of paper??

we spend our lifes worrying bout the future & what if there is no future
what if the world ends tomorow & u have only 24hours to live
will all those money be any use to you
will all the fun you missed out for years come back to u

i donno what is wrong or what is right
but i know what i am going to do

Live today & Die tomorow...